Life can be full of negatives. It seems to me that it's easier to find and remember things to be sad about, but much more difficult to remember the good things. We see it every day of our lives. Life is essentially a roller coaster. For some, controlling that roller coaster comes naturally. For others, it's like riding the Texas Giant or the Titan at Six Flags. You know the twists and turns and steep dives are coming, but you can't do much about it strapped into your seat on the car. You are at the mercy of someone else's design.
I've been spending a lot of time watching people. Sounds kind of creepy, but it's how I learn. When I watch the things people do, it helps me to learn the things I need to work on in my own life. Right now, what I'm noticing, is that there is an awful lot of the black clouds that come with negativity. A lot of us are having a hard time finding something to be positive about. I'm sure there are a number of reasons for this, but I wanted to offer my perspective.
Please don't think I'm delusional or retarded for this theory. I've spent a great deal of time feeling it out, sometimes very literally. You see, there's a very simple principle that exists within the laws of physics. Darkness cannot exist where there is light. However, the darkness is not destroyed, it's simply laying in wait for the light to go away so that it can once again rule the space light had previously occupied. The same can be applied in our lives. When we are thriving and happy and on a good path, our lives are filled with light. There is no room for darkness. When we struggle and wander on a path that is less than desirable, the darkness creeps in.
Darkness is subtle. In a 24 hour cycle, the night comes on only as the sun slowly sinks into the horizon. It is a gentle descent into the blackness of night. So it is with our lives. We make little mistakes that eventually become bigger. It's rarely a full on blast that takes out the sun in our lives. That generally doesn't happen. I think that's because no one intends to be a bad person. I believe that everyone is essentially good and wants to be a good person. It's just very difficult once you've begun to let the darkness rule you.
On the opposite end, have you ever noticed how quickly the dawn expels the night? When the sun breaks over that horizon, everything is bathed in light. The darkness disappears. The good things in life outweigh the bad. They will always dispel the darkness inside of us. The only thing holding us back is ourselves and how thick the clouds are around our hearts.
I realize that some of this is probably not making much sense so let me explain. I believe that some people are very literally followed by clouds of darkness. In the Bible, Genesis records that 1/3 of the host of heaven were cast out when Lucifer rebelled and led them astray. They were forbidden to come to earth to gain a body. When you think about how many people have thus far lived on this earth, and how many more we still have to come, 1/3 of that number is a staggering amount. I don't even want to try and think about how many that was. Mostly because I stink at math, but I digress. When these spirits were cast out, they followed the Morning Star. That was one of Lucifer's names. Lucifer was such a rebellious child that he did what all rebellious children do. He decided that if he was going to be miserable, then everyone else should be too. He has set out from that moment to make our existence here a living hell. We have something he can never have and it makes him angry. He blames us and God and Christ for his present state. He doesn't know how to accept the blame and responsibility for what he's done. Sound familiar? He is the reason for all of the misery in the world. Well, he's partly to blame. We all make choices, but I'll get to that later.
I believe that that 1/3 host of heaven is very real. I believe they are the darkness that follows people around. Here's why: I have felt them. Like I said, please don't think I'm delusional or retarded. I know it sounds a little crazy, but it's not that hard to imagine. I have led a less than perfect life. I strayed from the light for a lot of years and am still trying to find my way back for some things. There have been times where I swear something has been following me and whispering negative things in my ear. Most of that revolves around my own self worth and appearance because that is where I struggle the most and they know it. Were I too actually think well of myself, I would not have been in some of the situations I've found myself in. Anytime I've seen a picture of myself, I have self-criticizing thoughts, and as crazy as it sounds, when I have those thoughts, I'm also thinking at the same time that I'm crazy because it's not that bad. Why else would I think I'm ugly and a horrible person? I truly don't believe that...but something is trying to make me.
That's not the only reason I think they're real. I have been around other people I would swear are being influenced by that same darkness. These are people who would normally not do the things they do, but are constantly being whispered too and are too weak to say no. It's really not that far fetched. What else would those spirits be doing? Misery and jealousy are terms coined specifically because of those people. They are the definition of misery, jealousy, depression, anger, and hatred. They are the clouds surrounding our hearts and souls that keep us from finding the light.
There are ways to silence the darkness. Just stop doing what you know is wrong. Like I said, I've been down that path and it is much easier to stay stop doing the wrong thing than to actually stop sometimes. It is very difficult and it can physically hurt. Living in darkness is infinitely easier than trying to live in the Light. As someone who's struggled for a lot of years to find her happiness, I can testify to how much easier and enticing the darkness is, because the other aspect of the darkness is that it conceals the bad. In the Light, you have to face what you've done and try and fix it. Your soul is like your body and has to heal and it is a slow process...but it's worth it.
In the book, The Hobbit and the subsequent Lord of the Rings trilogy, there is a creature named Gollum. When he enters the story, he is a shriveled, pale, sickly creature who cannot exist in the normal world. He lives in a cave that is dark and dank. He is a slave to what he calls "my precious". It's a ring possessed by the spirit and evil of it's creator Sauron. When he found it, it whispered to him. He killed his friend to possess it and spiraled downward every day after that until he became what Bilbo Baggins found. Gollum did not begin as Gollum. He gave in to the whisperings of something much darker until he could no longer think for himself. The more he wore the ring, the more he fell to the influence of evil. It's the same for all of us. We never intend to become the Gollum's of this world. No one ever wants to be that miserable. The challenge, again, comes when we try to find our way back to the light. Gollum tried. He reverted briefly back to Smeagol, which was who he was originally, but ultimately could not sustain that life. It was too difficult for him and being Gollum was much simpler. Ask a drug addict or some politicians and they'll tell you the same thing.
So the solution is simple. Stay away from the dark. Don't touch it with any part of yourself because it is very enticing and it will drag you down with it. If you are already there and are struggling to get to the light, don't give up. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it sucks...but yes, it's worth it.
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