I had a conversation with my brothers yesterday that was interesting. When they get started on something, they are ridiculously hilarious and I spend a lot of my time trying not to laugh out loud. Yesterday, I have no idea how we got on the subject, but the conversation started with Remi saying something about Stephane making out during Bible Study or Scripture Study. Most of it was funny. Like I said, when they get goin on something, you have to be quick to get a word in cause they're so back in forth you'll be left in New Mexico while they're already in Georgia. With the Scripture Study/Make-out session argument, they were jokingly accusing each other of misrepresenting their intentions when they go do something with a girl. Then it got to the horrible movies and what they're really made for...and then came the crazy ways of the female race.
I know at least one brother will read this, and I hope he doesn't think that I was offended by anything they said. I'm truly not. I think it's funny when the genders try to unravel the mysteries surrounding each other. While they were bantering back and forth and insisting that most girls are crazy and ridiculous with their default/reset buttons, I felt like this was a good topic for me to blog on.
Let me first tell you that debating with Remi is impossible. He's very, very good...and it's usually very humorous. At least, it's humorous on his part. I've never liked getting in serious arguments with him because I never win. I think there was a little bit of truth to what he was saying yesterday, because I've been in legitimate arguments with him about it. Here's the disclaimer for this blog: My brothers are wonderful men. They have been raised to be gentlemen and would never treat any woman as anything but royalty as long as she acted like she deserved it. What they said was in fun. I'm the one being serious.
Again, this all started because of a discussion about making out. The point was made that it would be so much nicer if people would just say what their intentions are instead of playing the games that come with dating. Then it was countered with that just means we're being honest about using each other. Someone said that's like giving away the end of a book or movie. It takes the fun out of dating. Then someone said that the only reason a guy invites a girl to watch a movie, and I'm adding "by themselves", is to get something to happen and that he's a master of disguise as this means he's using her anyway. I definitely chimed in saying that no girl goes to "watch a movie" without knowing the possibility of "something happening" is there. That started the argument that the mind games girls play are endless and ridiculous, which I agree with...the ridiculous part I mean. So...I guess this is where I want to start laying things out for you.
I've been friends with so many different personalities in both men and women, and what I've learned is this: Some women are very complicated, others are less so. The same is true for men. That's really the only general statement you can make. Here's why I say that: Just because one woman is similar in looks, habits, and even personality to another woman, it does not mean that she will react the same way to anything.
The very bottom line that we build our opinions upon is that no matter how similar we are, we are unique. I had a discussion with someone the other day about how there really is no normal. There's only the socially acceptable and those that have a harder time being socially acceptable. That's a whole different topic for conversation. My point is that you can't make statements about an entire gender because no one but God knows every person. You can make conclusions based on what you've experienced and adjust your own behavior accordingly, but it is unfair to both sexes to make general statements about anything except what is physically gender specific. Even then, with the weirdness that is in this world, sometimes that is called into question.
So, how do you deal with the crazies? The first thing you have to understand, with women at least, is that for most women, the craziness fades. With age and maturity, the mind games become less. Just like with men, the older a woman gets and the more life experiences she has, the more she knows what she wants. A girl who has had no life experiences, just like a guy, is less sure of what she wants and is therefore more prone to do things that make her seem crazy because she doesn't really know better.
The second thing you have to understand is that the thing that drives most women, again you can't really make that much of a general statement, is a need to be loved. I don't know where it comes from or why it is so strong in some people and matters so little to others, but I believe that the desire for someone to love who we are just because we are ourselves is what drives most people. From a very young age, most girls dream Disney Princess style dreams about love. We are filled with the hopes and fantasies that come with grand adventures and a handsome prince to carry us off on his horse back to his castle. "And they lived happily ever after" is something we just know will happen to us. We are too young and too naive to know much of anything about the real world and how it works. Though we eventually are introduced to a much harsher reality, that hope and that dream of our own happily ever after never really goes away.
I think we, as girls, begin to realize our lives won't be filled with that type of adventure, sunsets, and Prince Charming when we start to notice each other as possible Prince Charming's and Snow White's. The trigger for noticing how different our lives will be from the fairy tale stories? Hurt feelings. A broken heart. When I say life experiences, I mean we find out the hard way.
We are cruel to each other. I think men feel the same way girls do for a lot of things. I don't think they want love any less than girls do, despite what the macho way of thinking tells them to say. People become crazy because we make each other that way. I can guarantee you that if I say, "Think about a friend of the opposite sex that you knew in elementary school", you will think, "Yeah. He/She was really cool in elementary school. What happened?". Now think about what I said about doing this to each other.
We become aware of each other as boys and girls in middle school. That's when we first begin to "date" and like each other as more than friends. We don't really know what that means, but we like thinking we're special to someone. When that ends in anything but happily ever after, feelings get hurt. I don't care who you are or what you tell me. If you are broken up with, you're gonna be hurt. That teaches us something. We learn that life isn't like the stories all the time. We learn to be more careful and to guard the thing we cherish the most...our hearts and dreams. The catch is learning to let go.
Here's where I draw on my own experiences. I will be the first to admit that I have been known to be crazy occasionally. I've literally been told I'm the not good kind of crazy more than once. During middle school and high school, I did a lot of dumb things that I cringe to think about now. Even in my later teens and early twenties, I didn't really know how to be a sane girl. It took a life experience and a lot of focusing on being someone I liked to change that. I still have my crazy days, but I've learned how to be sane the rest of the time. I bring this up because if I can do it, so can every other girl that doesn't have legitimate mental problems that require medication.
As people, we are capable of being both incredibly kind and incredibly cruel to one another. I've had both. We become who we are by reacting to influences around us. I think that everything that ever occurs in our lives has a result that directly impacts how we think, how we act, and how we treat each other. When I'm hurting, my reaction is to crawl into my bed and cry until I feel better. I've seen people that hurt lash out at other people so someone else is hurting with them. I've been known to do that too. In normal circumstances, I wouldn't do that. I am always able to choose not to react that way. As a child, I was less able to control my reactions and more prone to allow the bursts of emotion that generally go with the crazy rule how I acted. As an adult, I'm more able to control how I react, but I will always have bouts of crazy. I believe that it's part of who we are.
We are alive to learn. We are born into this world with no cares. As we grow, our cares become like those of Atlas. Our own lives become the weight of the world to each of us. Even Atlas didn't want to bear the weight of the world. We weren't meant to know how to be perfect human beings from infancy. We are here to learn how to be better, do better, and treat others the way we wish to be treated. The mysteries of each gender are not so mysterious. Guys, women are much less complicated when you understand that there are extenuating circumstances and she wants to be loved just like you. Ladies, guys are not the devil. Just because you've had bad experiences with a couple of creeps, who probably were looking for someone to love them too by the way, it does not mean that every other man on this earth is a creep too. People are generally good. You just have to be able to see it and take that chance.
If she is legitimately crazy...refer her to a doctor who can prescribe meds and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. While I understand legitimately medication-needing-crazy women, even I don't want to deal with their drama. :/
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